where is the real love?
Where can one find love?
In a club? In a grocery store? In a park? At work? In a school? In a church?
There are 6 billion souls and they are everywhere. But there is apparently just ONE person who’s supposed to complete you…Your other half, your counterpart, your soul mate…
Is he a myth? A metaphor? A fantasy? A distorted version of reality?
I don’t believe in it. I believe you should be complete in and of yourself even before this already-been-raised-upon-your-pedestal person walks into your life. Or should I say, collides with you. They always come least expected and turn out and up, unexpected. But maybe, just maybe, reality can be better than fantasy.
At the end of the day, I reckon I should have found myself first before attempting to find anyone or even harbor the desire to be found. By that I mean I should fully understand and embrace my identity in Christ to the best of my ability, if not I’ll never get life the way God wants me to. And it’s supposed to be beautiful, more beautiful than I can even comprehend and appreciate now. The person I’m created to be doesn’t need the props of the world to hold her up. I am God-sufficient.
If I stumble through life, allowing my happiness to be dependent upon others, I will never be found. At least not by the right person.
Hey girl! Extremely thought-provoking post and so true! Sigh, everytime I think about love and the whole concept, something inside of me goes mismatch..like is it seriously out there? These days I’m inclined to thinking that a soul mate is a “distorted version of reality.” But perhaps its better to hear from someone who is truly in love.
But yes, I believe one should try and complete themselves or be confident in themselves before finding that person. It was weird coz I was talking to someone about this, and he was like..but you develop so much of yourself by being in a relationship. What do you think? Do you think you can better learn to truly love, appreciate, and be selfless when it comes to another individual if you’re in a relationship? Like, how do you learn to be these things, if you only worry about yourself all the time being single? Yes, we’re striving for these things as Christians, but isnt it only in a relationship where those things are exercised?
..awesome post chicalicious.
Imogen Mutama said this on June 12, 2009 at 5:07 pm |
heyy Imo! wow love your comment, very thought provoking in itself!! ok i do think you can definitely develop yourself in a romantic relationship but the thing is you WILL be doing it one day, when you find the one. In the meantime, we’re perhaps less than 10 years away of being in that relationship permanently, and probably will remain in it (hopefully) for an average of 50-60 years till we’re 80 or 90 (average human lifespan). So i think that’s plenty of time to work on all those aspects with each other.
Having said that, we only have this much time from now till that day to develop ourselves and fully discover who we are as sole individuals. And we, as Christians, do not “only worry about ourselves”, we worry about how to become the people God has created and purposed us to be. I don’t know if that qualifies as the same kind of worry, it’s selfless in a way, ironically. And while we’re still single, no man is an island. What are family, friends and people in general for? We can even show love to someone on the sidewalk, as Jesus said (“The least you do to my brethren, you do to me”), while many who are experienced in relationships or in love, won’t even think or care to. I think non-romantic relationships teach us so much in loving and being selfless. They prepare us for the next stage of our lives. And most important of all, we have our relationship with God. That is the greatest test and best experience of learning to love and be humble, and to be all these things that are against our human nature =)
Thanx once again for your comment! It really got me thinking =))
ceraye said this on June 13, 2009 at 12:31 am |
heya =) a really thought provoking post, but here’s my 2 cents worth.
i agree you have to ‘find yourself’ before you can find anyone else, because if you dont know how to love yourself, how else would u come to appreciate the love anyone else shows you, and love them back in return?
and no matter how developed you are in christ or in person, you will still continue to learn new things about yourself and your r/s God everyday. God created man and gave him woman to accompany him because he needed a helper comparable to him. i believe that our everyday process of finding out about yourself can be accompanied by developing your relationship with someone who is able to grow with you. and after all, if all relationships are meant (but dont always) to end in marriage, arent you working towards building a home that can house christ between you two and also your future family?
friends and family in general are for love of other sorts? but then again when my love for a man encompassed everything it didnt last long either, probably cos the time wasnt right, or he’s not meant for me, or i gave up. i dont know what God has in store for me,but i feel that He places such special people in our lives, and whether we like it or not, these people who cross our paths (we dont really seek and find them do we? dont u think God planted them in our lives?) are part of the bigger picture that God has artistically drawn. Last sunday’s sermon was from 1samuel 16 & 17, titled ‘God has not forgotten you’. about how God prepared King David for much bigger things when he taught David to fend for himself while tending sheep. so who’s to say that all the hurt and pain from us loving or seeking a r/s with another guy isnt just moulding you to be the perfect person for another one out there?
i guess i’m still the type who needs someone to grow along with me. i’d be miserable being alone even if it’s just picking up my clothes from the tailor’s. perhaps it’s over dependence on others rather than God, but i dont seem to be able to find comfort in Him yet. there are still many doors to my heart that are closed to God, and it’s something that’s so annoyingly pressing but i dont do anything about it, or all attempts are feeble.
pray for me, pray that God sends someone to guide me step by step. or open my eyes wider so i can find the person God is pointing me to in order to first love God above all things.
miss you sara.
landy said this on June 15, 2009 at 9:48 am |
Dearest Lun,
Firstly, thank you so much for your very honest and thoughtful comment! I agree with you that our growing in God never ends, but I do think that our growing alone with God does. And there’s a limited time for that so it’s good to capitalise on it while we have the chance in life to. When there’s someone else in the picture, and there ultimately will be (hopefully), it will always be US and God, and that’s marginally different. It’s kinda like a relationship trinity that will, as I mentioned in the last comment, last for 50, 60 years or longer. And the growing there is great, but it’s different too. These days we have to discover the people that God has created us to be on our own, they will be gone.
Also, friends and family, yes for sure the love is different, but all forms of love originate from the source, God. And non-relationship love, whether it’s deeper or less deep than romantic love, basically all I’m proposing is that you can learn from everything and everyone, even if you don’t have a partner. and it’s sufficient in ‘preparing’ you for the one.
I totally agree that God plants people in our lives! but what we do with them, is another thing. i honestly would prefer to make all my mistakes and learn together with that one guy i’m supposed to be with forever, rather than losing bits and pieces of my heart to guys along the way before finally meeting the one. of course i come out stronger and learned this and that, but i’ve spent years paying for some of my mistakes in the past with dating, because i didn’t consult God first about whether or not i should get involved, and i would gladly erase that to have a fresh, naive start with whoever i’m supposed to be with. of course, it’s just my own personal feelings about this =)
And i think God always cleans up after our mess. When things are not of the right time, place or intention and we get into it anyway, whether knowingly or unknowingly, God could just leave us in the hole we’ve dug for ourselves. But He doesn’t. He picks us up and creates good out of the sin that has been inflicted on us, or that we have inflicted on others. And that’s why there’s always a good side to everything. we made mistakes but we know how to love better. for those who have never made those mistakes, they won’t need to have their heart broken. is it a win-win situation? maybe.
thank you lun for your comment, i really admire you for being so honest and humble about yourself. and all those things you’re going through. it is hard to bare one’s soul in a place like this, i know it’s been hard for me to be vulnerable here at times too, but i feel like you have and i really appreciate that. I will certainly be praying for you, and i know there’s a reason you’re alone, like me, now, and the reason is all God. and i miss you too, i really do =(
ceraye said this on June 15, 2009 at 10:48 pm |
=)
to each her own i guess.
catch ya soon!
landy said this on June 17, 2009 at 7:08 am |
=D can’t wait ^^
ceraye said this on June 18, 2009 at 12:23 am |