I want you to know

There are some people we’ll never forget. They’ll always leave a mark, a sweet scar, a bittersweet tear whose taste will always remind us of a time that has passed us by forever. It was perfect, a world in itself, summer always shining. The stars never set. Nevermind the storms that came thereafter, the rainbows that never graced the sky, the memories on constant replay. I thought it’d be easy to let it go as surely as the sun that sets, but I guess a part of you will always be with me, wherever we may be. happy independence day.

Remember all the things we wanted

Now all our memories, they’re haunted

We were always meant to say goodbye…

~ Kelly Clarkson (Already Gone)

forever 21

it would be nice to remain 21 forever. i’m just in love with that age. it seems so young, carefree, summery and fun. 22…life is getting serious! but every age can be and will be gorgeous. there have been good and bad things in every year of my life, so what can i say, will there be a BESTEST of BEST years? last year could count, but that was when i was 20.5-21.5 years old. so in the end, looking back, maybe they’ll all meet me halfway =)

And I have to say that I’m just so happy and thankful to God that I’m still here, when I wasn’t supposed to be.

Bring me to the brink

I’ll leave without hesitation

To a world without limitation…

~ Mandy Moore’s Merrimack River

sweet silver lining

Kate Voegele ~ Sweet Silver Lining

This is the first song i listened to that brought tears to my eyes. i absolutely love it, and am sure almost everyone can relate to it in some way or another.

Well, I’m going home downhearted and hoping
I’m close to some new beginning
I know there’s a reason for everything
That comes and goes

But so many people are looking to me
To be strong and to fight
But I’m just surviving
And I may be weak but I’m never defeated
And I’ll keep believing
In clouds with that sweet silver lining

Most days I try
My best to put on a brave face
But inside my bones are cold and my heart breaks
But all the while something’s keeping me safe and alive

But so many people are looking to me
To be strong and to fight
But I’m just surviving
And I may be weak but I’m never defeated
And I’ll keep believing
In clouds with that sweet silver lining

And I won’t give up like this
I will be given strength
Now that I’ve found it
Nothing can take that away
 

when you wish upon a star

What are some of the most awesome and breathtaking wonders  of the world that God has created? I think the heavens and the starry universe around us certainly could be chart toppers. For millenia people have gazed and charted the walk of the stars and planets through their ancient, mysterious realms of black and gold. It is infinite, terrifying … beautiful.

Worlds in the sky

Far from my reach

I touch you with the hands of my soul

Flying, flying

Embracing the depths of space

Time immaterial

Exists not

Only immemorial

 

My memory glistens as I tear back

To years like nebulae

The birth of a new life

Quiet, unseen

Breaking through the endless crevices

A velvet dream

 

Flowing and holding

Wisps of cloud

Blue castles on shores of snow

Skating, skating

Past the present

Copper dust

Falling

Remnants of stories across the ages

The dawn of time

Within my reach

Sacred goodbyes

Sudden beginnings

where is the real love?

Where can one find love?

In a club? In a grocery store? In a park? At work? In a school? In a church?

There are 6 billion souls and they are everywhere. But there is apparently just ONE person who’s supposed to complete you…Your other half, your counterpart, your soul mate…

Is he a myth? A metaphor? A fantasy? A distorted version of reality?

I don’t believe in it. I believe you should be complete in and of yourself even before this already-been-raised-upon-your-pedestal person walks into your life. Or should I say, collides with you. They always come least expected and turn out and up, unexpected. But maybe, just maybe, reality can be better than fantasy.

At the end of the day, I reckon I should have found myself first before attempting to find anyone or even harbor the desire to be found. By that I mean I should fully understand and embrace my identity in Christ to the best of my ability, if not I’ll never get life the way God wants me to. And it’s supposed to be beautiful, more beautiful than I can even comprehend and appreciate now. The person I’m created to be doesn’t need the props of the world to hold her up. I am God-sufficient.

If I stumble through life, allowing my happiness to be dependent upon others, I will never be found. At least not by the right person.

Midyear!

Can you believe it’s already half way through 2009? I’m still not used to the fact that its 2009, even writing 2008 sometimes in diaries and whatnot. 6 months! how has this year been so far for you? I think…it’s nothing like 2008, but it’s been really good and really hard at the same time. I think the latter part of this statement makes it different from last year. Everything was easy, breezy and beautiful last year. Well, I had some hard moments, but the good just overwhelmed it all that I can barely remember the pain. This year…it’s been trying, a constant test of spiritual vigiliance and practice. I just feel like I’m on trial, not all the time, thank God, but now and then. And it’s always something new, unexpected, and when these things happen, it takes so much out of me and I have to somehow struggle and climb my way back up. It’s hard but I know I’m closer to who God wants me to be, hopefully.

This is typically the time of year where I’m spending my summer where it is…well, perpetually summer. it’s strange not being there. I’ve been blessed to be able to go back every year. 

Things are always changing, and I realise that a lot. Especially with 2009.

worriless

I have a beautiful life. And yet, I must feel it can’t be perfect. Gone are the days that went by without a worry. I want those days back. O me of little faith!

“Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?” Matthew 6:25

Yes, but my worries go deeper than that…I am worried about loss, change for the worse…

“Are you not of more value than the birds of the air to your heavenly Father? Even He takes care of them…Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature? Your Father knows that you need all these things.  Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and all these things shall be added unto you.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow,  for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” Matthew 6:26-34

There is always going to be something in the way. People who misunderstand, who don’t know who you really are or care to…There is much pain but joy in the end. But this is life. And my life is beautiful regardless. When I have a God who loves and looks after me, there is nothing to fear. His perfect Love casts out all the fear and darkness in me.

I could be free. I could be so free if I learn to let go, completely.